Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
