Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
where does the pee come out of this thing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
