even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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