We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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