i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
