Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
