yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
