I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
