Fuck appropriateness.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
