im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
