White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
