note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I could fuck to npr.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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