I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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