Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
