I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
