I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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