the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
