I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
