So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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