The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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