I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
