next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize