I wannas sexs uuuuu
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
