this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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