Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
