he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
