It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
