Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
