dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone signed my nipple.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
