I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
