I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
