do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
