Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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