I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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