It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
