those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's always time for handjobs
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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