u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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