Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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