I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she woke up with a sticky ear
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
