I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dignity is for republicans.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You can't just leave with hair like that
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
