Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
