This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
this will be a night to untag.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
