he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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