i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
