I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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