fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize