we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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