I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
