No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
