I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
