Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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