I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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