I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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