Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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