Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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