Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
do nipples grow back?
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