plz talk dirty to me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
