real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
